'I’d rather be a conductor of a sex band rather than just playing one musical stick' : One Man's Perspective

This is an email extract from a client. It is printed here with his permission. Keep in mind this is one person’s opinion representing their journey - everyone’s journey is different.

“This is what I have had to do in order to stay alive…

Locus of Control

I’ve noticed that when my life begins to implode it correlates to a time when my locus of control, my system of beliefs, shifts to an external focus.

For example, when I begin to feel helpless and look for something outside of me to blame, or I wait for somebody else to come up with a solution for me.

The problem for human beings is that it is often easier to be negative rather than positive. In my opinion this stems both from the fact that being positive seems like more work than being negative.

In reality, they are just different belief systems. 

Look at the principals of goal setting. Goals are just a way of taking control internally, creating a plan and sticking to it.

When you do that life’s negatives either don’t come along or simply bounce off your goal shield so that you just keep going anyway. Another example of an internal focus.

Hmm, I just got myself thinking… Do I have an external locus of control regarding my erection?

Or am I just using the excuse of my operations to cover my sexual inadequacies, or is that the same thing??

It’s really interesting stuff isn’t it? I guess the approach you are working on Victoria, is really another way of showing people that it is up to them.

Pleasure Stick vs. Sex Conductor

There are alternatives to think about instead of wallowing in the fact that your erection is different, and the way it works is different, and the way you might want to share it with others might also have to be a little bit different.

Instead of looking at one’s erection as a pleasure stick, we now have to look at our erection as part of an overall arrangement of pleasure.

I guess its like going from playing a musical instrument to becoming the conductor of a whole band.

Now the band includes a vacuum device, and perhaps some other mutually beneficial toys and lubricant, and other interesting techniques.

If I think about it - and of course assuming there’s a willing partner - I’d rather be a conductor of a sex band rather than just playing one musical stick.

Unless of course it was a flute, but I am not going to explain that one…”

Victoria Cullen