our mission
A Touchy Subject helps you regain sexual function and renew your sex life after prostate cancer treatment.
how we do it
We figure out the principles, habits and options:
We’re obsessed with uncovering ‘the practical stuff’ from the latest clinical literature, and from the thousands of conversations we have with men ‘MacGyvering’ their way through sexual recovery. Check out our latest survey results here.
We create accessible resources sharing these valuable info nuggets:
Over the years we’ve created Youtube videos, shorts, blog posts and guides. The plethora of content can all be a bit overwhelming at first though, so we recommend starting with our ‘6 Principles for Erection Recovery’ free course here if you’re new.
We find the best sexual rehab products (voted by you):
Throw a stone in any direction and you’ll hit a product claiming to ‘100% fix your erectile dysfunction’. We take our time to scour the Wild Wild West of sexuality products, conduct our own research, and find trusted suppliers globally to affiliate with so you get excellent products from reliable sellers. Check out our Sexual Recovery Toolkit here.
hi, I’m Victoria
How did I end up so passionate about men’s erections post-prostate cancer?
There’s a longer story about how I became fascinated with sexual health design in the first place.
It involves 3D printers, a music festival in Denmark, and a vibrating carrot. I’ll write about that another day.
But the crux of it is, I had the privilege of speaking with men and couples about their sex lives following prostate cancer surgery.
And frankly, I noticed a lot of problems that desperately needed solving.
It was 2014. With a couple of Psychology degrees from University College London under my belt (Bsc & Msc), I was traversing into the wonderful world of Sexual Health Design. I was helping set up the (world’s first!) sex toy design program for students at RMIT University, and alongside that, working on the floor of a sensuality boutique (‘classy sex shop’).
Both realms gave me plenty of opportunities for real, vulnerable conversations about sexuality. I noticed many people buying ‘sex toys’ were really looking for ‘sex solutions’ for the physical changes following a life event (eg. child birth, menopause) or a medical intervention (eg. treatment for depression or cancer).
Each conversation raised common themes:
A lack of discussion and education about these sexual function changes.
Uncertainty on whether these changes were permanent or could improve over time.
Little practical advice on how to optimise their sexual health.
No ideas on how to create a great sex life with these changes in the picture.
It seemed the advice from healthcare professionals was too ‘clinical’ to translate into fun, connecting, sexual experiences. Google was overwhelming in terms of choice, and not tailored to specific needs
The conversations I had with people post prostate cancer treatment shook me the most.
How the physical changes, lack of practical information, and limited opportunities to have real conversations affected their emotional, mental, and relationship health were extremely concerning. I felt innately pulled toward helping in whatever way I could.
One particular couple changed it all for me.
I met them 3 months following nerve sparing robotic radical Prostatectomy (the surgical removal of the prostate using a robotic device intended to help preserve cavernous ‘erection’ nerve function).
They were distraught.
They were grieving because of so many unexpected losses; the loss of physical response to stimulation, the loss of spontaneity, the loss of penile length and girth, and the loss of nocturnal and morning erections.
And, they were worried about incontinence occurring during sex and whether this was unhygienic, so they didn’t want to attempt it.
They were barely holding hands in case it ‘led to more’ that then could not happen.
Their story inspired me to start a PhD. I wanted to research these problems from a ‘human-centred design’ perspective, rather than the usual medical model of ‘one group got Viagra, the other didn’t, let’s see what happens’.
The ultimate question…
‘What happens if we put understanding people’s needs at the centre of the design process?’
In this case, ‘A Touchy Subject’ happened.
I started A Touchy Subject as an online educational hub in 2018 after identifying a missing link in the system: an option-led, ‘you’re in the driver’s seat’ approach to sex after prostate cancer. A place where people could access bite-sized chunks of practical information, learn about products that actually worked, and all from the privacy of their home.
where did I ‘learn the ropes’ so to speak?
I have a Psychology (Bsc) & Masters in Cognitive Psychology (Msc) at University College London, with a specific focus on behaviour change design (what influences the choices that become our lives, in particular, positive health habits).
After moving to Melbourne in 2013, I co-founded the world’s first academic Design and Sexual Health course with Dr. Judith Glover at RMIT University. This course was featured in The Age, and on The BBC.
I started my PhD research at RMIT University in 2015 focusing on applying a Human Centred Design approach to under-addressed sexual needs after prostate cancer treatment. This PhD research is currently on pause after I contracted a virus in 2019 that led to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. (I am thankfully fully recovered now as off mid-2023 and you can hear my recovery story here).
Along the way I’ve had professional supervision and mentoring by sexuality educators and therapists, as well as completing the ‘Sexual Health and Counselling in Prostate Cancer’ training course through Dalhousie University. This course was conducted in partnership with Movember’s True North initiative and Prostate Cancer Canada.
In 2017, I partnered with Professor Declan Murphy (Urologist and Director of Robotic Surgery at Peter MacCallum Center) to give a complimentary ‘sexual rehab plan’ consultation to all his private robotic Prostatectomy patients (2017 - 2020). During this time I was also a referral pathway as part of Movember’s True North initiative delivering specialised knowledge in vacuum erection devices.
I’ve delivered CPD accredited training on erection rehabilitation to GP practices through Epworth hospital. This training has been received by Doctors of Northcote, Prahran Market Clinic, and Deepdene Surgery.
I’ve presented at conferences on the latest clinical literature on Sex and Prostate Cancer at the Asia-Pacific Prostate Cancer Congress (2015, 2017 and 2018), The Urology Society of Australia and New Zealand Conference (2018), Independence Australia Education Days (2017 and 2018), COSA Cancer Survivorship Conference (2019), Society of Australian Sexologists (2019) Australia Physiotherapy Association (2020), Physiotherapy New Zealand (2020).
When I’m not hijacking dinner conversations to talk about lube…
I’m likely enjoying a cup of earl grey tea (just milk, thanks) and a cryptic crossword. I’m currently attempting The Age cryptics, but it often feels like I’ve bought a banana to a gunfight!
I co-run a social support group in Melbourne for adult siblings of people with disabilities (set up by the charity, Siblings Australia). Advocating for the needs of current and future carers is another kind of ‘Touchy Subject’ that’s very close to my heart and home.
I love fitness. In part, this is thanks to A Touchy Subject! The benefits of exercise for sexual health should be advertised on the sides of buses. After my webinar with men’s physiotherapist, Thomas Harris, I was so shaken by the benefits I went for a 10-minute sprint around an oval on the way home! (a habit I managed to keep up daily for 3 months). My favourite exercise now is weight training and Brazilian jiu-jitsu (also surfing when I can get to a beach).
From 2019 - 2023 I experienced post-viral syndrome (later diagnosed as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). My own experience of a non-linea, nebulous, complex type of functional recovery. I’ve made a video sharing my recovery journey you can watch here.