You might also enjoy this YouTube playlist where other men and their partners share their Prostate Story.

You can make a free Google Mail account and comment under these videos, this lets you have conversations with other people across the world going through similar experiences.

2. Find support in a way that suits you.

Men and their partners with a support system in place tend to weather the bumps in the road easier.

This doesn’t have to be with a counsellor (although many people find this approach beneficial).

Here are some ideas for creating support, and supporting others too:

• “What are support groups good for?” Article by Alan and Fiona White

• Find a support group in your area PCFA easy locator tool

• Online support for any Australians with prostate cancer (men, partners, family) Private Facebook group

• Online support just for the partners of Australian men with prostate cancer Private Facebook group

• International online support groups/forums Five extra websites

3. Make sure you stay connected with your partner and your pleasure.

So far, we’ve focused on erection recovery. This is usually front of mind for men after surgery, following on from continence.

When I chat with clients about the loss of erections - what they’re missing most, and why life is a struggle without erections - usually three themes emerge:

• They’re afraid they won't be able to satisfy their partner without a hard enough erection, so they don’t want to initiate sexual activity until erections return. They’re missing the rewards sex used to bring: fun, intimacy, connection, closeness, release and even the joy of simple touch.

• They feel they’ve lost a part of themselves, and sometimes their body reflect this. Some men experience less sensation or arousal without an erection present. I’ve had clients who are missing the type of orgasm they used to achieve with an erection that they are not getting flaccid. (Intriguingly, I’ve also had many clients say the opposite, that the orgasm they have after prostate surgery when flaccid is actually better than before).

• They simply can’t get it off their minds. It’s difficult to get into the flow of enjoying sex in other ways with the mental pre-occupation of ‘will it happen this time? Will it ever happen again?’ They’re missing the relief of not having to worry about this part of their lives.

The next section gives you some ideas on how to remain close, have a great sex life (that both you and your partner enjoy equally), and adapt your sexual menu - without erections in the room.

Yes, it is possible.

And please note, this does not indicate defeat in any way.

In fact, the more you practice sexual pleasure (partnered or solo), the better the impact this has on your erection health (remember the principles of Stress and Pleasure from the Penile Rehab video).

This point was recently bought home by Professor Francesco Montorsi- the Godfather of Penile Rehabilitation.

He conducted the first ever penile rehab post prostatectomy study in 1996, and has authored countless papers in this field over the years.

In a podcast interview with ‘Talking Urology’ from 2019, he was asked about his preferred penile rehabilitation protocol.

He stated emphatically:

“I tell my patients it is time to go back to high school and practice masturbation as much as possible”.