Sex with Erectile Dysfunction: How to introduce your partner to Penile Rehabilitation and ED Devices.

This is the sixth chapter in a series of guest articles, written by one man (heterosexual, single-and-dating, 6 months without Prostate). On a mission to live life to the fullest…

In this article, he reflects on his experiences introducing new partners to his rehabilitation toolkit. You may find some inspiration here too for introducing new ideas in a well-established partnership.

It starts with good verbal communication.

What excites me most in early intimate relationships is discovery. A combination of both verbal and physical exploration. With that mindset of curiosity for each other, great connection and sex follows.

I used to overthink whether women would be put off by what I was not able to do physically.

But here is how I’ve come to see it - if she wants to go on more dates with me, it’s because she likes me as a person, regardless of my body’s dysfunctions. This is the easiest litmus test available for genuine attraction.

Furthermore, I’ve found that sharing openly and honestly what’s going on with my body post surgery creates the connection necessary for glorious physical intimacy later on.

With one partner for example, I raised the subject of my penile rehabilitation early on. I shared with her my success stories as well as my failures. I then shared with her the delight I felt when she first kissed me and told her that her kisses brought tingles to my groin and ‘Pedro’ did rise, albeit slightly.

She loved hearing how our intimacy was a positive aspect of my recovery journey, and wanted to be involved further.

In my dating experiences post surgery I’ve found that most women are sensitive, giving human beings. They care about your physical and mental health and are curious to learn about you, as you are to learn about them.

It also gives your female companion permission to share openly with you about her own health journey, without feeling judged or ashamed, this leads to further connection and intimacy.

How to introduce your partner to sexual rehabilitation

If you are in a similar situation and your partner (whether new or current) has a real interest in your rehabilitation journey, my advice is this - do not hold back!

Yes, it can be a little bit confronting for both of you because this is un-chartered territory.

But the connection you’ll experience in this situation can be spectacular. 

I suggest sharing with her your rehabilitation steps. What you have read about penile rehabilitation. And what you personally want to progress to.

You could even go through A Touchy Subject’s free 6-step rehabilitation program together as co-experimenters.

Demonstrate the use of your vacuum device or injection process. I’ve had partners fascinated in seeing erections being ‘created’ in this way. And also being shown a soft penis orgasm… and then eager to create one! 

Check out the ‘Reprogram Your Penis: enhance sensitivity and orgasms in 3 weeks’ course that can be practiced solo - or with a partner.

The elation and excitement I’ve had by including a lover in my rehab has been a huge step forward in my mental and physical post-op journey.

If you have achieved this type of intimate and caring relationship with your partner, feel good about yourself.

Yes, you and I are a long way from where we were before the operation, but you now have a caring team-mate who is prepared to share part of the journey with you.

And trust me - that is more important than whether you have a fully functioning penis right now.

I am sure like me you want more out of your own 'Pedro’. I bet you would love to embrace your lover and physically take her in a wild fit of spontaneous passion.

At the moment though, that is not possible (for me at least).

How to give your lover fulfilling sexual pleasure - without a hard on.

Taking as much interest in your partner’s pleasure is of course as important as sharing your own new discoveries.

If you take away one idea on how to fulfill your lover’s desires from this article, let it be this:

Talk to her.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to what turns women on - every single woman is different.

Ask her what she likes and doesn’t like in bed. Ask her what she would like to try but might have been too shy to communicate.

If you’ve been in a relationship for many years, treat this as an opportunity to go on a second honeymoon together. ‘Discover’ each other for the first time all over again.

I’ve noticed that open and honest conversations about my erectile dysfunction and rehab creates a level of trust and vulnerability. This then helps make my lover feel comfortable enough to communicate what she really likes too.

Here’s a story of one of my favourite post-op sexual encounters…

I met a woman and we had an instant connection of mutual energies. In her previous sexual adventures with men, the sexual acts were all-consuming, rapid, energetic, penetrating and explosive.

Well, explosive… but only for her male lovers.

She had not experienced many beautiful orgasms with a lover because there was no sensuality, no slowing down of the passion, no time-out to engage in exploratory caresses. Without the time for her to get fully turned on, this resulted obviously in him coming fairly quickly, and leaving her wanting. 

For her, this style of passion was what she understood sex to be, until she met myself (and Pedro).

Our intimate energy was still there, the passion was overwhelming and consuming, but instead of following the normal script of unleashed passion and penetration, Pedro said: “let’s slow down, that is not going to happen”. 

And she did. 

She allowed herself to engage in something slower, more sensual, and significantly more rewarding. This was the complete opposite of her previous experiences of “wham, bam, thank you ma’am”. 

She loved it and she loved me for showing her new experiences. 😊

We are still lovers and engaging in a variety of ways to enhance our sensual and sexual experiences, without expectations.